The Best Man Speech is one of the highlights of any wedding, but it must be done well. While it only lasts about 10 minutes on the big day, the memories will last a lifetime.
Most Best Men are burdened by the expectation to be hilarious, and they have no idea where to begin, what it should truly include, how to end it, or how to talk about the couple in a meaningful way, don’t sweat it, we are here to help.
This article provides comprehensive guidance on how to write a best man speech, including tips, templates, and examples to guide you; carefully read through.
Must I Give A Speech As A Best Man?
As a best man, giving a speech is traditionally one of your key responsibilities, but it’s not a strict requirement. The best man’s speech is often seen as a highlight of the wedding reception, where you get to share memories, celebrate the couple, and offer your well-wishes. However, if the idea of speaking in front of a crowd makes you uncomfortable, it’s okay to have a conversation with the groom about it.
In some cases, best men choose to skip the speech altogether or share the responsibility with other groomsmen. You might also consider writing a heartfelt note or letter to the couple instead or offering to toast the couple in a simpler, more relaxed manner.
Ultimately, it’s important to do what feels right for you and the couple. If you do decide to give a speech, we are here to help you give the perfect best man speech.
How To Write A Best Man Speech
Getting all your thoughts and feelings down on paper can be overwhelming, especially if you’re not used to sharing those sentiments with the guys. For those who are unsure of what to write as a best man speech, here is a guideline to help you find your flow.
1. Find a Theme
A theme is a unifying topic that links the entire speech together. Consider it the key takeaway from your speech, or the one thing you want people to remember. Making a list of your favorite stories is the most effective technique to identify your theme.
You are not going to start writing a speech from scratch. Begin by brainstorming stories. Most essentially, you are looking for a theme that emerges from those anecdotes.
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2. Nail the Opening
A good introduction is essential for any successful best-man speech. Introduce yourself and explain your relationship with the happy couple. Have fun with this phase by telling a quick joke or quoting a poem to keep your speech from becoming stale.
For example, “Hello, everyone!” For those of you who don’t know me, thank you so much for attending my wedding. [pause for laughs] I apologize for that…”I am a little nervous.”
3. Start by expressing gratitude
Express gratitude to individuals who you believe deserve special recognition. Thank the couple’s parents for raising such wonderful children, thank your friend for inviting you, thank the guests for attending, and perhaps include a one-liner thanking the bartender for a few laughs.
It’s a low-key way to start the conversation, ease into your best man speech, and make those who deserve it feel appreciated.
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4. Talk about your relationship with the groom
Beyond introducing yourself, a significant portion of how to write a best man speech is discussing your relationship with the groom. Discuss how you met him, how long you’ve known each other, and what a fantastic friend he is. Use an anecdote or hilarious story that exemplifies his personality, whether it’s charming, warm-hearted, or thoughtful.
A witty best-man speech is usually memorable, but if you’re going to utilize an anecdote, connect it to his spouse whenever feasible to make it more meaningful. For example, perhaps he is extremely extroverted yet forgetful, whereas his new spouse is more thoughtful and structured.
If you start with an anecdote about his forgetfulness and then follow up with a time you saw his partner’s organizing skills really help him out—and that’s when you realized they were the genuine deal—that’s a great icebreaker.
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5. Talk about the couple’s relationship
This is the time to speak about why the groom and their new spouse are a great couple. Share how they first met and how their relationship has grown so other guests can get a better insight into the newlyweds.
If you helped the love birds meet, say something like this in your best man speech: “I know I said earlier I’m the best man, but I lied. I’m actually Cupid because I’m the one who introduced these two eight years ago.”
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Tips on How To Write and Deliver a Best Man Speech
Here are tips to guide you when writing and delivering the perfect best man speech.
1. Consider Your Audience
You can’t nail a speech if you have no idea who to tailor the content to. “Feel free to ask beforehand. When I was writing speeches for the president, we had a point of contact where the speech was happening to say who is in the audience. You can do a smaller-scale version of that. Your point of contact is probably your friend getting married. But, the nice thing about giving the best man speech is that, ideally, it’s both specific to you and universal to the couple,” says Litt.
If you’re open to it, Cleare also suggests bringing other attendees into the mix during your delivery. “Don’t be afraid to involve your audience! You can pose a question to them during your speech,” she notes. This is a great way to make everyone feel included.
2. Relax
I would say rarely start with talking about how nervous you are. I’d also say just relax. That’s a hard thing to tell someone to do. But remember, you’re not putting on a show. You’re simply talking about your best friend and the love of his life, two people that you’ve probably spent a lot of time with.
In the end, it should just flow and come out easily. Imagine you’re just telling a story to a group of friends because, really, you are.”
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3. Put Down Your Notes
No, you don’t have to memorize every word of your toast, but Cleare recommends that you “bring the confidence, and put down your notes” on the big day. “Don’t worry about memorizing your speech word for word. It is more important to connect, deliver with confidence, and have fun,” she explains. The more you can engage the audience—look at them, feed off their energy—the better your toast will be received.
4. Stay True to Yourself
Stick with who you are and how you would normally act around your friends; you don’t need to adopt a character just because you’re giving a speech. For example, if you aren’t normally the comedian in the group, don’t try to tell a bunch of jokes. If you’re not usually a super-sentimental person, don’t force it. There’s nothing wrong with keeping your speech more lighthearted. The couple already knows (and loves) your personality, so the more genuine you are, the better your speech will be received by both the newlyweds and their guests.
5. Don’t Rely Solely on Humor
While a few jokes sprinkled in can be a great tool for loosening up the crowd, don’t make these the meat of your toast—especially if comedy doesn’t come naturally to you.
Let me put it this way. There’s such a thing as too many bad jokes, and that number is about one. The more you treat it as an open-mic night, the less happy everyone involved is going to be.
6. Keep Things Positive
Even if you think it’s well-meaning, don’t turn the toast into a roast or make jokes at the couple’s expense.
The way to think about jokes is that you don’t want people to be laughing at the groom or at the couple. You want people to be laughing because they suddenly know the groom better than they did before.
7. Don’t Upstage the Newlyweds
Your best man speech is not about you but the couple, channel your speech by keeping it focused on the couple. You’re not performing, you’re there because you know the couple and care about them, and you’re sharing that with a bunch of other people. Even a great best-man speech is not supposed to steal the show.
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8. Propose a toast.
Finally, wrap up your best man speech with a passionate toast. Ask everyone to raise their glasses and send their best wishes to the newlywed pair. Steal this wedding toast: “Let us raise a glass to this wonderful couple.” I wish you a life of peace, love, and happiness. “I love you guys!”
Best Man Speech Examples
Now that you know how to write the outline, let us provide you with some inspiration. Here are four best man speech ideas for every type of delivery.
Short Best Man Speech Example
Short best man speeches can make the grade just as much as long ones. Try this short but sweet example.
As the poet, Dante once said, ‘A great flame follows a little spark.’ When [Groom’s Name] met [Spouse’s Name], there was a little spark. I know because I talked to him the next day.
From the way he talked about [Spouse’s Name], this stranger he chatted up at a Halloween party, I could tell this spark was something special.
You two are fantastic together. May the flame burn long, and may sparks continue to fly. Cheers to the newlyweds!
Funny Best Man Speech Example
Funny best man speeches are our favorite. You get to show off your comedic skills while giving loving well-wishes to the happy couple.
Hello! For those who don’t know me, I’m [Your Name], the best man. I’ve known [Groom’s Name] since middle school, which means that it was before we learned mullets weren’t a good look for either of us.
[Groom’s Name] and [Spouse’s Name] told me there are some topics I should avoid in this speech so…[Look through cue cards, then shake head and dramatically drop them all to the floor but one.]
[Reading from the remaining cue card] [Groom’s Name] is really the best friend I’ve ever had. He’s done so many wonderful things it would be difficult to name them all. Hey, [a Groomsman’s Name], I can’t read your handwriting here!
But seriously, it’s all true. This guy is a great friend, the best I’ve got, and I’m very proud to stand by his side today.
[Spouse’s Name], I was hoping to be the best-looking person in the room today but obviously, I failed miserably. You look beautiful and radiant. I’m beyond happy for the two of you.
May you always find joy in the little things, like your Xbox and ‘Star Wars.’ Oh wait, that’s my personal goal. You should actually find joy in each other, and do everything you can to have a lifetime of happiness together. Let’s toast the newlyweds!
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Best Man Speech for Brother Example
Need best-man speech examples for your brother? Use our speech below as a guide to delivering a sweet message to your older or younger brother.
On my fourth birthday, my parents got me a brother…I wanted a puppy.
But seriously, as a kid [Groom’s Name] wanted to do everything I did. He used to follow me around. He used to sneak into my room and play with my Matchbox cars. Our parents could get him to eat his broccoli by making me eat my broccoli.
It wasn’t until after I went to college that he started going down his own path. He started doing volunteer work. He found a job he loves, a pretty killer apartment and, of course, he found [Spouse’s Name].
[Spouse’s Name], you’re the nicest person I’ve ever met, and my brother is so blessed to have someone like you in his life. Thank you for being there for him.
I’m so happy you two found each other especially because I’m gaining a sister today. Oh, and I want to set the record straight. I’m glad I didn’t get a puppy that day. I love you, little bro.
Congratulations to both of you. I wish you lots of laughter, love and joy as a married couple. Cheers to the newlyweds!
FAQs On How to Write a Best Man Speech
Your speech should generally have an introduction, a few personal stories or anecdotes about the groom, a mention of the bride and their relationship, and a heartfelt message or toast to the couple. Keep it light, positive, and appropriate for all ages.
Yes, humor is a great way to engage the audience, but use it cautiously. Avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand, and steer clear of anything that could embarrass the bride, groom, or guests. Keep it fun, light-hearted, and respectful.
Definitely. It’s important to acknowledge the bride and express your happiness for the couple. Mentioning how the bride has positively impacted the groom’s life or sharing a story involving both of them adds a nice touch.
Conclusion
Now that you have at least a rough idea of what you want your speech to be like, it’s time to put pen to paper. Finished writing? Practice, practice, practice, and ensure every word you say is a good fit for the big day.
References
- theknot.com – Rock Your Best Man Speech Using Our Expert-Approved Advice
- weddingwire.com – How to Write a Best Man Speech in 9 Simple Steps
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